The S word

Nope, not that one, but I am quite fond of it.  We’re delving into the idea of shopping.  Now I come from a long line of shoppers.  We’re talking a trip to some mall every weekend.  End result – I learned to loathe shopping.  Then something magical happened.  The Internet.  Not having to go into a store is very inviting to me.

So where do I spend my net dollars?  I’m a HUGE Groupon junkie.  I’ve literally saved hundreds of dollars by using that site on everything from Botox to car washes.  (For the car, not my botoxed forehead).  It’s really very simple, you just register and you get daily emails various deals, goods and services.  There’s no minimum, no requirements, no strings at all.  In two years I’ve only been screwed once and Groupon’s customer service made good on the voucher so I didn’t lose a dime.

I eBay.  Not a lot but since I learned how to play the game, I’m actually pretty good at finding values and bargains.  I kinda got hooked when I started writing Finley Tanner novels, since a running joke in the series is that she’s building her dream Rolex from parts she buys on eBay.  I actually had my jeweler tell me the parts and I went hunting and sure enough, they were all on eBay.  I buy a lot of Coach on eBay.  I’m very careful and check the advertised merchandise against the Coach website.  YSL – forget it, too many fakes.  D&B – good deals to be found.  Betsey Johnson – more goodies just hanging around.  My tip?  Try misspelling the name.  For example type Betsy Johnson and you’ll find some merchandise that doesn’t show up on the search under the correct spelling.  My other tip?  Plan to man your computer during the last seconds of an auction.  I got my daughter a brand new Nook, in the sealed box for $47.50.  It had been steady at $25.00 for 3 days but I swooped in at the end and outbid the other person with a mere 2 seconds to go.  Make sure that final bid doesn’t go in until your opponent can’t re-raise you before the end of the auction.
My new philosophy – if you can’t get it online, you don’t need it!

Blatant self-promotion . . . 8 days until BARGAIN HUNTING is released.

I hope you’ll dash out and get your copy and/or download it from any of the major retailers . . .  From Fresh Fiction:

Bargain Hunting
Rhonda Pollero
Reviewed by Tanzey Cutter
Posted October 12, 2012
Mystery Amateur Sleuth | Mystery Woman Sleuth
Finley Anderson Tanner, fashionista/paralegal extraordinaire, is torn between the two gorgeous men in her life -- her boss, lawyer Tony Caprelli, and the law firms' private investigator, Liam McGarrity.  But Liam is the hunk who really makes her tingle in all the right places.  In the past, they've come close to consummating their relationship several times, but something always happens to hinder the final act.  Just how much sexual teasing is a hot-blooded woman expected to take?

Then Liam shows up at Finley's house late one night with a gunshot wound needing a place to hide and get patched up, and she knows she'll do whatever it takes to protect him.  With much probing and prodding, Finley finally gets Liam to confess that five years ago he left the police force after he was falsely accused of shooting a teen during a drug bust.  Even though he was never found guilty, he was forced to resign.  Now, Liam's gun from five years ago has been used to kill his ex-partner -- and he's again a murder suspect.

It doesn't take long for death threats against Finley to start and with an excess of possible suspects, Liam, Finley and Tony are kept busy sorting out details and following leads.  But will they live long enough to bring the bad guys to justice?

The really good thing about this fifth outing for Finley is the progression of her relationship with Liam, and we finally learn more about his background.  It adds a special dimension to the sleuthing and the final outcome of the mystery plot.  Don't miss BARGAIN HUNTING, a fantastic entry in this exceedingly enjoyable mystery series.

When things get ugly

Myth – authors always have input on their covers.  When I sold my first book in 1993 (yes, I am that old), I had no idea what the process was when it came to covers.  Harlequin sent me something called an Art Fact Sheet and it was about ten pages long.  It asked questions like the color and style of hair for the hero and heroine; the location backdrop; 3 suggested scenes for the cover (turns out that was a waste of time – they never once used the scenes I painstakingly wrote out on the sheet); a synopsis; clothing and a bunch of other details, large and small.  And FYI, I did them on a typewriter, and since I can’t type, I dreaded the Art Fact Sheet.  Now this process is done online.

Then about 30 days (if I was lucky) before the book was released I could suggest something called an Iris and that is a color image of the cover flat.  Or in some cases, I’d get the cover flat directly from my editor.  That was the first time I saw the cover.  On more than once occasion I loathed the cover.  But with Harlequin there are no changes.  They publish something like 177 titles a month worldwide so they aren’t going to stop the presses because Rhonda (or Kelsey Roberts as the case may be) wasn’t happy with her cover.

So what did I do?  Lie.  I’d always tell my editor the cover was fine or sometimes I’d lie and say I loved it.  I did have one editor who would call me and say, “I’ve seen the cover and you’re going to hate it.”  Which brings me to another myth at Harlequin – editors have almost no clue or say regarding the covers.  They are created in a different country and usually the editor is seeing the cover at the last moment as well.  There have been times when I didn’t see the cover until I walked into the store and the book was on the shelf.  I think it served me well to keep my mouth shut.  Of my dozens of Harlequin covers, the one I hate the most is from a book titled Handsome as Sin.  Only problem?  The guy is ugly as sh-t.  I actually had people attend a book signing and refuse to buy it based on the hero’s appearance on the cover.  Here’s a peek:

 Handsome as Sin

Then I did an anthology for Random House and that wasn’t much better.  They did send us the cover, ask for our input, and then ignored all of us.  Red Hot Santa looks like his back is covered in tumors.

Then I found Mecca.  When I moved to Simon & Schuster I had a completely different experience.  We actually had cover consultations and I was encouraged to share my thoughts.  And if I didn’t like the cover, they made changes.  They also did branding – utilizing an element, in my case a skull, in all the covers.   What a joy it was to know I was part of the process.

So my advice?  When you have to – lie.  Better not to be labeled a problem author than gripe about a cover that’s already set in stone.  And if you’re lucky enough to have a say in the matter, be conciliatory.

 

How do you spell RELAX?

Sometimes, especially if you work from home, the line blurs between working and relaxing.  There is no time clock, so the days can be long (or short – shame on you).  No boss keeping track of your time and one eye always on meeting that next deadline.

I’m very guilty when it comes to my time management.  I enjoy working in large chunks of time.  Bursts if you will.  I’ve been known to work for 30 hours or so before I collapse in a puddle.  But that works for me.

The only times I actually do the relaxation thing is 1- on vacation and 2-days of jubilee.  By vacation I don’t mean the trips I take with my family.  Those are vacations with a lowercase v.  I’m talking a selfish vacation all by myself.  Be it a trip to see a friend or a cruise around the Caribbean, the time is mine to do with what I please.  As for days of jubilee . . .

Every single time I finish a project I take several days and do nothing.  I mean stay in my PJs like a root veggie.  I turn on the TV and start zoning out to some of my favorite shows.  My taste is very eclectic.  I’ll have various episodes of Chopped mixed in with Counting Cars and Antiques Roadshow.  Thank God for DVRs. 

Once I have my fix of TV, I turn to reading.  I don’t read while I’m working so I save up a stash of TBRs.  When I read for pleasure and relaxation, I read true crime, preferably with pictures.  Every now and again I read fiction, but normally it will be something recommended, or it could be something burning up the charts that has me curious. 

So how do you refuel?

SAme Old, Same Old

First, sorry, I keep forgetting when Monday is *g*.  So we’re talking about what it means if you’ve been working on the same project for years.  It’s happened to a lot of us, but is it worth it?

Um, in two words, Hell no. After about 6 months you’ve polished it so often the finish has rubbed off.  Not only are you too close to the material to really see/fix any problems, but as time marches on, you’ve lost that freshness and enthusiasm.  I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met who tell me they’ve been working on something for 12 months or more.  Now yes, there are lightning strikes and sometimes those manuscripts sell, but most of those are manuscripts finished at one point and shopped for months or years.

So what’s the solution?  If you’re at the 6-month mark or if you’ve done three drafts, time to move on.  Time to get excited about your next project.  Tuck that old project in a drawer – or a flash drive – and take the lessons learned and move forward.  You can learn volumes about a project.  Honing skills necessary to improve your craft is always good, so don’t look at a long-running work as a failure.  Hopefully the most important thing you’ve learned is how to take a book from beginning to middle to end.

Conversely, if you’re a 3-chapter Sally, time to rethink your process.  If you’ve spent 6 months or more ‘polishing’ your first 3 chapters, time to bone-up on plotting and pacing.  I should know, I was a 3-chapter Sally for years.  I’d write the first three chapters, then have no clue where to go next, so I’d write 3 more chapters of a new project, then have no idea where I was going, and so on and so on.  In all those cases I knew the ending, I just didn’t know how to get through the middle of a book.  My saving grace was learning to organize my manuscript.  The first manuscript I wrote using organizational techniques I sold.  And I did it in one shot.  No drafts, no polishing, just made myself do it right the first time.

So take stock and be honest.   Especially to yourself.

It was a dark and brainstormy night

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.  This is a concept near and dear to my heart.  I love, love, love brainstorming.  I actually like doing it for other people more than for myself.  I love the ‘what-ifs’ of writing.  And I like coming in out of the blue and tossing out ideas to my buds.

I’ve been brainstorming for years.  I am blessed with a great group of friends who are always willing to help me work my way out of whatever hole I’ve dug for myself.  For us it basically works like this:

{Friend’s phone rings} Hello?

{Me} I’m screwed.

What’s wrong?

I don’t have enough conflict to sustain the book.  It’s now a short story.

Tell me about where you are in the story.

{Long recap}

Sounds like you’re rushing it.  Have you thought of X?

Um, no, but I don’t really like that.

How about Y?

Y could work.  Thank you! {I get giddy}

Okay, so maybe it’s a longer conversation.  We touch on characterization, plotting, pacing, conflict – you name it, we bounce ideas off one another.  The key to making this work is having a brainstorming buddy who is familiar with what and how your write.  My brainstorming buddies know better than to brainstorm an angst-ridden subplot because they know this isn’t part of my skill set.  The other thing you really need is trust.  Make sure your brainstorming buddy will tell you the truth.  If you want to be told how special you are, call your mommy.  If you want an honest critique of where you’ve zigged instead of zagged – brainstorm.

The other advantage of brainstorming is plotting and pacing.  By running your plot past your buddy, you can often hear and see the places in your plot that are weak and/or unnecessary.  The same is true of pacing.  Recapping your story gives you a better handle of how the book is moving.

Brainstorming should help you, not defeat you.  Find the right person or people and your manuscript will shine.

I suck

First, bad reviews come with the territory.  If I could write a book that appealed to everyone on the planet, I’d be a very rich woman.  But the tone and tenor of bad reviews has expanded thanks to the internet and its anonymity.

So let’s start with the old.  Back when I was writing for Harlequin I used to get a letter from the same woman after every book was released.  Included with her letters were the pages of my sex scenes with big red circles around the consummation scenes.  Then her letter would blast me for being personally responsible for the aids epidemic and teen pregnancy because my characters never wore condoms.  I always wanted to write her back and say, “yeah, well, they can’t get aids or pregnant unless I write that in because they aren’t real!”  But instead I’d stew for about 30 minutes, then forget Condom Cathy.  Especially once I found out she was writing the same letters to many Harlequin authors.

On with the new.  Now it’s a tad tougher.  Between Amazon, Goodreads, Barnes and Noble, publisher’s sites, etc. it is a whole lot easier for someone to offer a critique.  And they can do it while hiding behind some silly screen name.  It isn’t the critique that bothers me, it’s the fact that people don’t have the stones to sign their name.  IMHO, the worst site (And my editor at Simon & Schuster said the site is useless and they pay no attention to it) is Goodreads.  People go in and give a book a single star but they often don’t explain what they found so distasteful.  How helpful is that to other readers?  Maybe the critique hates funny dialogue or wants more romance.  Well then say that.  The next person may want more funny and less romance.  At least pretend to be a place to exchange valid information.

Then lastly, the direct email . . . yes, you can reach me through my website and yes, I eventually get around to reading each and every comment.  After FAT CHANCE was released, I received a strongly worded email from a woman who took great offense to a line in the book about Finley having homeowner’s Tourette’s.  She accused me of making light of a serious disease and promised me she’d never buy another book of mine.  STUPIDLY I responded to her, explaining that for me, it was an analogy, much like saying something was eating away at a character like a cancer.  That’s not making light of cancer and more than I was making light of Tourette’s.  Bad, bad move.  She came back at me telling me I had a sick sense of humor if I thought mocking the sick and infirmed was funny.  I thought about it for a while, then just wrote her back and suggested that perhaps my books were not meeting her reading needs.  What I really wanted to do was tell her to get a life, but I restrained myself.  Moral of the story . . . if my reply is anything other than thank you, I don’t bother responding, I let my assistant Susan handle the hate mail.

A nip and a tuck

Getting up there in age . . .

Plastic surgery isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  Take Priscilla Presley.  The once beautiful woman had a facelift that left her looking like she’s standing behind a B-52 engine at take-off.  I almost didn’t recognize her when I saw her on an episode of Oprah.  If her daughter hadn’t been with her, I’m not sure I would have put two and two together.  Sometimes you can go too far.

Who has aged gracefully?  Michelle Pfeiffer.  I swear the woman still looks like she’s 35 when she’s actually 54.  Wouldn’t mind aging like her and from all accounts, she hasn’t had anything done.  Talk about great genes!

I know we’re supposed to be talking about women who’ve aged well . . . or not.  But in a nod to the Olympics, I have two words.  Bruce Jenner.  I swear, his ears are on his cheeks he’s been so tucked and tightened.  He’s a walking advertisement for what not to do to your face.  Like Priscilla Presley, his mouth is drawn into a taut line and he blinks and his scalp moves.  I’m old enough to remember when he won the decathlon in 1976 and at the time, he was the Olympic hotty of the games.  Now that he’s been relegated to the Kardasian stepfather, he looks more like a billboard for don’t let this happen to you.

I’m not anti-paint and body work.  I like my botox and I’ve had a lid lift.  Nothing major though and I’d be a little afraid to get any of that done.  The last thing I want to do is look like Priscilla.  Too bad I have a bad gene pool.  But maybe with enough moisturizer I can make it to the end without a major overhaul.

So if you could have anything done, what would it be?